Church today was a mega slap in the face. It was all about our thoughts. How they lead to actions which cause our successes and failures. Man, how true that is. Here's an analogy to explain what I learned:
Life is like a play and our thoughts is the stage. There are different acts within our lives, and within those acts are the scenes. Each act is a time period in our life; childhood, adolescence, young adulthood, adulthood, parenthood, and so on. Each scene is a situation we are in; a grade in school, a date, a fight, etc. On each side of the stage are
two people, vying for our attention and the spotlight; Christ and Satan. We are the stage director. We choose who gets to go on and when, including the fight scenes and struggles we go through. But in each scene, only one of those people can truly be in control. So the question is, who do you want to be in control?
Christ or Satan?
The act I am in is young adulthood. My scene is waiting for two years while going to college into who knows what anymore. And I'm currently dealing with the big picture problem of my story line that is the ongoing struggle. The "I'm not good enough to please anyone." And "I can't let my past go so I'm just going to keep thinking about how utterly horrible I am." And let me tell you, this way of thinking sucks.
Our thoughts control our actions and the devil is trying his hardest to be in control of them. And to be honest, he's kinda got me right now. I can't break free from the hold he got on my mind years ago, which is causing so many internal struggles now. I'm nothing close to perfect, but I can't help but feel straight up horrible. Not because I expectmyself to be perfect, but because I can't forgive myself. I can't let go of some things I've done. I've tried and failed miserably, which I guess is the real problem. That I just keep coming up short. And this feeling of always coming up short in this regard has leaked into all aspects of my life.
I no longer think I'm good at anything. Not just no good at anything, but no good for anyone. I don't even feel like I'm good enough for Doug anymore, despite what he has to say about how I am. And I struggle with these thoughts every day, every hour. And every time I have to kill them before they kill me. But there are a lot of days where I don't win. And thoughts like these take over and take me down. But I was told something today, something that has changed my way of thinking.
I am better than I think I am. And God sees that. Even Doug sees that. And that's why he still believes in me, when I no longer do.
How I think makes me who I am. As a man thinketh, so shall he be.
I am a child of God. And I will treat myself as such. I will think of my father and I will be who he wants me to be. I will think of myself as Doug thinks of me, sees me; imperfectly perfect for him, striving to do my best, although I come up short, which is all he needs from me. That's all he needs from me. To think the best of myself so I can become my best self.
Here's to thinking the world of myself, and realizing I'm more precious than rubies.
Life is like a play and our thoughts is the stage. There are different acts within our lives, and within those acts are the scenes. Each act is a time period in our life; childhood, adolescence, young adulthood, adulthood, parenthood, and so on. Each scene is a situation we are in; a grade in school, a date, a fight, etc. On each side of the stage are
two people, vying for our attention and the spotlight; Christ and Satan. We are the stage director. We choose who gets to go on and when, including the fight scenes and struggles we go through. But in each scene, only one of those people can truly be in control. So the question is, who do you want to be in control?
Christ or Satan?
The act I am in is young adulthood. My scene is waiting for two years while going to college into who knows what anymore. And I'm currently dealing with the big picture problem of my story line that is the ongoing struggle. The "I'm not good enough to please anyone." And "I can't let my past go so I'm just going to keep thinking about how utterly horrible I am." And let me tell you, this way of thinking sucks.
Our thoughts control our actions and the devil is trying his hardest to be in control of them. And to be honest, he's kinda got me right now. I can't break free from the hold he got on my mind years ago, which is causing so many internal struggles now. I'm nothing close to perfect, but I can't help but feel straight up horrible. Not because I expectmyself to be perfect, but because I can't forgive myself. I can't let go of some things I've done. I've tried and failed miserably, which I guess is the real problem. That I just keep coming up short. And this feeling of always coming up short in this regard has leaked into all aspects of my life.
I no longer think I'm good at anything. Not just no good at anything, but no good for anyone. I don't even feel like I'm good enough for Doug anymore, despite what he has to say about how I am. And I struggle with these thoughts every day, every hour. And every time I have to kill them before they kill me. But there are a lot of days where I don't win. And thoughts like these take over and take me down. But I was told something today, something that has changed my way of thinking.
I am better than I think I am. And God sees that. Even Doug sees that. And that's why he still believes in me, when I no longer do.
How I think makes me who I am. As a man thinketh, so shall he be.
I am a child of God. And I will treat myself as such. I will think of my father and I will be who he wants me to be. I will think of myself as Doug thinks of me, sees me; imperfectly perfect for him, striving to do my best, although I come up short, which is all he needs from me. That's all he needs from me. To think the best of myself so I can become my best self.
Here's to thinking the world of myself, and realizing I'm more precious than rubies.
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