Violachka

You are heaven sent. And I love you. 

I love that you're so kind. I love how much you're doing for me. I love that you understand. I love that you're trying so hard to make this easier on me and Doug.

I love talking to you. I love how alike we are, even though we both have to speak broken Russian and English in order to talk proficiently. I love how you help Doug and Elder Rallison.

And I love your faces. Even when you have a face on that deserves the phrase "If looks could kill..." :P

Yup, pretty much you're awesome. And I can never thank you enough for all you've done, in just a mere week.

A Less Than Instant Instant Message

Today has been a good day.

I got on facebook and had a random message from some girl named Viola... I was confused. I don't know a Viola. But she explained herself...

"hey, i know you don't know me i'm from Ukraine and your boyfriend serving in my city right now..... and i heaкв about you a lot :)" (that's supposed to say "hear" for you people who don't know a Ukrainian or Russian keyboard ;)) 

Hmm. Well. Hello there from the other side of the world! My first thought was "What in the world is he telling you about me?" :P I mean, random girl tells me that she knows a lot about me and knows my boyfriend on a mission half a world away... slightly concerning, no? But all she had to say were good things and amazing things. He's a good guy, he's happy, he's got a companion he really enjoys and is working with a lot of people... All good things. But the best was this:

"i called him 5 min. ago and told him that we are friends with?and he wants tell you somethin he can, so you can do the same, ok'? just know that i can do it :)" 

To translate this into modern English ;) it basically means that if he wants to tell me something quickly, he can tell her and she'll let me know, and I can do the same. She's willing to play the messenger girl ;) I'm not sure I'll use this less than instant instant message, but it's nice to know the option is there, you know, if something slightly important happens. Would've been awesome a week ago when I met Elder Anderson... :P Oh well. The point is, I like this girl already ;) 

Salt Lake Temple: Best Place on Earth

Today was a good day. Here's why;

I went to the Salt Lake Temple today because I hadn't been to that one yet, and I go to Salt Lake every week for a class (or I did anyway but the semester is over now :P). And while I was there, I saw a man baptizing 3 girls with the last name of Goodfellow, and I assumed that he was Brother Goodfellow. And I just kept looking at him with the thought "I know you from somewhere" repeatedly running through my mind. The names they were baptizing for in the SL Temple were Hungarian names, and this man was saying the names very well. One of the Temple Workers asked if he went to a Russian speaking mission. His reply? "No, I went to the Donetsk, Ukraine mission." I gasped. When did he get back? Did he know Doug? That's why he looks so familiar! Elder Goodfellow just recently went home and I've seen his picture a million times on President and Sister Fry's blog of the Donetsk mission! I was thrilled. So much so that I hurried and changed so quick after my baptisms were done and practically ran out into the hall, hoping to find him. Which I did. I awkwardly walked over to him and asked, "You said you went to the Donetsk, Ukraine mission, right?" "Yeah I did." "When did you get back?" "About 3 weeks ago actually." "Really? That's awesome" I said with a HUGE grin on my face. "How well did you know Elder Johnson?" He seemed pretty taken aback by the question. "Really well, actually. Why?" "Well, that's my boyfriend." "Really?! Yeah I was his zone leader when he was with Elder Moore and Elder Valverde in Cold Mountain when he was a greenie. I got to know him really well. Elder Johnson is great!" And the conversation continued. He stood up, asked my name, shook my hand and we chatted a bit. His dad came over and I was introduced to him too, and half his family were gathered around :P It was interesting... But before he left, Elder Goodfellow (I'll be darned if I remember his first name...) turned back around, gave me a smile, a wave and said "I'll see ya later!" Maybe I will... if Doug knew him a lot better than I'm thinking, perhaps he's one of the Elders that will be invited to my wedding... :P

Well, my adventures at the Salt Lake Temple didn't end there. A minute later, no joke a minute later, a man comes walking by. And I think to myself, "You look really familiar too." I felt something change in the temple then. I just felt, happier than I already was feeling. He smiles a great big smile at me (which makes me smile even bigger and feel more awesome), waves and asks, "How are you doing?" I just continued to smile and wave and asked how he was in return. And then as he kept walking away I realized how I knew him. And just as I figured it out, a Temple Worker called out, "Elder Anderson!" I just looked in shock. I now understood why I suddenly felt soooo happy. I just met an Apostle. Elder Niel L. Anderson.

That's what's up.

Salt Lake Temple, you are fantabulous.

Boy, You Make Me Smile

Last week Doug told me that the first Saturday he's home, he's spending pretty much all day watching sports, mainly football and if the NBA happens to have started that weekend. I automatically offered myself up as official cuddle buddy for the day ;) I also told him that sometime within the first week he was taking me on a date because... well I want to go on a real date again dang it. My words were, " I demand at least one date in that time-frame :P" Which I meant to mean the first week. His response? "you're cute thinking your in a position to make demands :P ha ha ha but yes of course we'll go on a date. yay cuddle buddy :D"

I really miss him. But I'm really glad he can still get me to smile and laugh, half a world away :D

Being Human

You know what I absolutely hate about being human? Messing up.

Here's the thing about being human; you're going to screw up. There really is just no way around that. No matter how hard you try, you're going to mess up and there isn't a thing you can do about it. Not one. Try and try and try; fail and fail and fail. It sucks, and frankly, I'm sick of it.

Here's my problem; I've come to the conclusion that clearly I don't actually want to be happy. Why else would I keep doing the one thing that is holding me back from truly being able to be happy? Why in the world do people do this to themselves? I mean, I know it's not just me. One of my best friends continued in her harmful habits and addictions for years and still struggles with the after effects every day. Another friend also had his harmful problems that still haunt him.

I've heard stories all around talking of people who have some sort of harmful addiction and they know that it is that thing that is keeping them from truly being happy. It could be something that most consider simple and small, like lying. Or something more heinous and hurting like drugs or alcohol abuse amongst other things.

So I want to know why? Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we hurt ourselves in such horrible ways? I want an answer cyberspace!

WHY?

Missing

As I'm sitting here on my bed waiting for sleep to take me over, I find myself missing many people and writing a blog post about it when I should at least be studying for finals since sleep seems to be alluding me... But alas, here I am anyway. And to be honest, I don't regret it a bit, though I probably will in the morning...

I really dislike missing people. It means that the people I care most about are not currently in my life in a way that I would like them to be. It means I am not doing what I should be doing to keep in contact with the people I love so much. It means I haven't seen some people in far too long, and that really needs to change...

I really miss my unbiological sister. I haven't seen Marissa since her wedding and that was almost 4 months ago. I find something extremely wrong with this. Especially since we've only talked on the phone once and rarely text. I mean a lot of that is my fault, but still. The point is, I miss her. A lot. And I really need someone like her right now, a girl who understands me, who has been with me for so long that she knows my back story and doesn't have to ask why certain things are bothering me and why I'm concerned with others. I miss having that friend, and to be honest, I'm afraid I'll never get her back now that she's married...

Then there are the Schmlkhn's and my Ukrainian friends. I just miss them all, and that's all there is to it. I occasionally see some of them, but it's not nearly enough, that's for sure. And who knows when I'll get to see any of my Ukrainian friends, like Katya and Anya? Heck, I just miss Ukraine in general. Life was so much simpler then it seems...

I miss Jon and his family. I haven't heard from him in 6 months, and haven't seen him or his family in 9 months. The only reason I know of anything going on is because I stalk his family blog. Ugh. I miss being able to just go down to the Jr. High and chill with him and play stupid basketball and football video games, telling his class that I am his daughter, and having them all actually believe it. I miss his advice, I miss the way he would just listen to me ramble and I even miss him making fun of me. All the time. I miss his kids and their little giggles. I miss talking with his wife Kristen and having an understanding ear coming from a woman for a change; someone who won't judge because she has no actual connection to my future or being in my family. It's quite nice honestly, because she's honest and caring. I miss that too. Yeah, I miss the Frey's a lot.

I miss Tanner. I know, I know; it's a shock. Tanner, the kid who had it in for me for 2 year? Yup. I miss his standoffish nature. I miss watching him play basketball. I miss doing stupid things with him, like writing Doug a fake Dear John. Yeah, I miss him a lot too.

I really miss Brian. Not this new weird Brian, but the real Brian. The one who texted me for hours on end, talked on the phone late into the night, watched Hot Rod late on a school night, and ate gassed Oreo's with. I miss his advice, I miss hanging out with him. I miss his short hair. I miss the light in his eyes. I miss his smile, his laugh, his contagious happy personality which seems to have died and gone missing. I miss egging people's cars, talking on his roof and getting Macey's ice cream. I miss the Brian who actually enjoyed real music, who wouldn't change for anyone (or so we thought...) and who loved God. I miss texting him to wake up and get his butt to seminary, and having to explain to our class that we were not together, but we were best friends. I miss the spiritual moments we've had... because I'm afraid they'll never come back. I miss the Brian who knew who he was, not the one who wants the world to know who he is...

I miss Doug. A lot. Words cannot sufficiently describe the amount of miss I have for that man.  I could go all mushy and explain why in an extremely long explanation, but I'll spare you; mostly... I miss his smile and his laugh, his giggle and the light in his eyes. I miss the way he would look at me. I miss praying with him. I miss reading scriptures with him. I miss our tickle fights and wrestling together. I miss talking about Kolob while sitting under the stars. I just miss sitting under the stars, wrapped up in blankets. I miss his broad shoulders, I miss his soft hands. I miss his brown and green eyes, the little mole on his right cheek. I miss making so many inside jokes and giggling for hours together because of them. I miss playing tag with him. I miss cuddling with him. I miss his kisses. I miss holding his hand. I miss talking about being married, our future together... Ugh... I just miss him. Everything about him. And I miss him a lot.

190 days and I get him all to myself... and the other people in his life; like his family. But that's besides the point. He'll be all mine. 190 days. I got this. 

Fakes and Hypocrites.

I lose all respect for such people.

I'm all fine and dandy if you don't want to follow the prophets or apostles and their counsel. I'll think you're stupid and probably tell you so, but it's your life. But if you aren't going to follow what they have to say, don't constantly share quotes from them about how special temple covenants are and modesty and how much you love General Conference and listening to all the prophets and apostles and then go roll up your garment sleeves under your immodest wedding dress in front of the temple and go out to California in a skimpy bikini and drink coffee and watch R rated movies! FREAK people! It is one thing to make little mistakes, sin and mess up... we all do it! But for the love. Get a different swimming suit and clothes, learn the value of hot chocolate and the temple garment and get a better taste in media.

Heavens. I'm surrounded by idiots...

Aww. I Just Love Love.

One of my good friends got engaged last night. I'm slightly jealous... but mostly just super excited and happy and giddy and thrilled and... yeah... Here's why:

2 years ago, Kristen sent off her boy, Christopher, on his mission. And let me be the first to tell you how waiting is not at all fun. And freaking hard. And sometimes it makes us do some things that most people would consider crazy...

But we enjoy ourselves nonetheless :) And it helps us get through the day... days... weeks... months... years... you get the idea.

Well, 10 days ago, Christopher returned from his mission, as much in love with her as she was with him as they were before he left, and probably moreso too. 9 days after returning, they're engaged; 3 of those days he was out of town. And they have set a date: May 21st. That's in like a month. 1 1/2 after he got home. OHMIGOSH! I'm just a wee bit excited. That's all. Some people would say their crazy, but those people just don't understand. Personally, I couldn't be more thrilled for them. At least I know these two won't judge me and Doug for getting married so quick after he gets home, unlike some people...

Anyway, they're adorable.

And I love them together. And yes, I am basing this off of pictures because I still haven't met him, but I don't even care! They're adorable. And I'm so freaking stoked!!! I can't contain it! And, I love her ring:

Yes, I realize it's on the wrong finger, and so does she. It needs to be resized... but the point is, I really love it. I'm glad that I'm not the only one that likes simple diamonds. It's just so much more... classic. And appealing. Simplicity is good...

And now, I think I have rambled about someone getting married long enough. 6 months and 10 days until Doug is home. Tack on another couple weeks (give or take) and I'll be in the same position they are now. And in a little less than 9 months, I'll be engaged. Aw, life is good :D

1 Year and 9 Months

Today is quite the day. Here's why:

1 year ago I started this blog. Which also means that 1 year ago I was in Ukraine... I miss Ukraine. And I remember this day so well, sitting in the big room by the far window in the little chair while using Jenna's mini laptop to start up this blog. Miss Heether came from my Native Coordinator, Oksana, because she couldn't pronounce my name correctly the first day and the "nickname" stuck. To this day, many of the Schmlkjhn's still call me Heeeeether :P

I feel like I've changed a lot over the last year. Lots of things have changed. Not only do I live in a different country, I have completely new friends, a new (ish) job, a raise, one year less waiting for Doug, and I've grown in ways that I never would have thought, although I've also dropped in other areas of my life too. The point is though, overall, change is inevitable and I've done plenty of it in the last year. I like to think it has mostly been for the better however.

Today was also the last day of the semester for classes. Can I get a "huzzah?"

Oh, and the 9 months thing? That's how long I have to wait until I'm married. Say what? Yup. January 13th, 2012. But shhh. Don't go around telling the whole world; most people don't know and I'd like to keep it to you select few ;) Doug doesn't want people to think we're crazy... as if they don't already know it :P But there are certain people (both our mothers, for instance) who would probably die knowing we actually have a date and wouldn't appreciate knowing, both for different reasons too. At any rate, I'm excited, so I had to say something since I've been keeping this quiet for months now. I figure, he told Elder Rallison before even I told anyone, and I'm always the one who blabs first, so I decided I can tell a few people :P And most of you who can won't read this anyway, so really, it's like I'm only telling 3 people (if even that) :D

Well, that's all I got. Have a great day everybody! I know I will :D

Another and Another and Another...

Friend engaged...

Another friend engaged...

Another friend pregnant...

Another friend pregnant...

Another friend pregnant...

Another friend got her missionary back 2 days ago...

I'm noticing a trend here... Am I just crazy?

Sigh. When's it my turn?

Oh wait. Today's his 18 month mark. In 200 days Doug will be back. A very short while later I'll be engaged. And shortly after that I'll be married... Not pregnant though. No, not that. Not that for a long while. But still. That's 200 too far away... Sigh.

Oh Yes.

You want to know what's absolutely awesome?

My hair is finally growing!

Ok, so that's only some great news. The other fantastic news is that Doug is actually happy. I know; that seems like a somewhat stupid thing to be excited about, but it really is exciting news. He's totally been worn down the last little while and there was no way for me to help him. I would try being uplifting, sending scriptures, cool stories... all to no avail. And then, April Fool's happened.

April 1st was transfer day. Gratefully; Doug was pretty done with his companion and wanted him transferred asap. Well, he definitely got his wish. And got majorly blessed too.

He is now companions with one of the greatest guys ever, someone who Doug has loved since he got into the MTC. They were great buds there and have obviously stayed that way. I've never met him, but I'm in love with his voice and his song writing abilities; there's a reason he's playing at mine and Doug's wedding :P Elder Rallison. You have seriously made Doug ridiculously happy in a matter of... well honestly, from the moment you cracked open your easter egg and found out Doug was your companion! The excitement in Doug's voice now is crazy; it used to be so dull and drab, and honestly, it kinda hurt to listen to. But he was so happy this last week. All because he's companions with an amazingly awesomely singing Elder.

Yup. This is going to be a good transfer for all parties involved. :D

Yeah. That, my friends, is pure joy written all over Doug's face.