Being Human

You know what I absolutely hate about being human? Messing up.

Here's the thing about being human; you're going to screw up. There really is just no way around that. No matter how hard you try, you're going to mess up and there isn't a thing you can do about it. Not one. Try and try and try; fail and fail and fail. It sucks, and frankly, I'm sick of it.

Here's my problem; I've come to the conclusion that clearly I don't actually want to be happy. Why else would I keep doing the one thing that is holding me back from truly being able to be happy? Why in the world do people do this to themselves? I mean, I know it's not just me. One of my best friends continued in her harmful habits and addictions for years and still struggles with the after effects every day. Another friend also had his harmful problems that still haunt him.

I've heard stories all around talking of people who have some sort of harmful addiction and they know that it is that thing that is keeping them from truly being happy. It could be something that most consider simple and small, like lying. Or something more heinous and hurting like drugs or alcohol abuse amongst other things.

So I want to know why? Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we hurt ourselves in such horrible ways? I want an answer cyberspace!

WHY?